so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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