1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
