Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
