I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Vodka?
Forever.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
