she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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