Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
