his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Randomize
