OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
