Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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