i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
