There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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