hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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