At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
