VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize