I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I will be naked everywhere
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
