she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
