Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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