We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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