Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
