There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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