you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
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Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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