you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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