listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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