OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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