Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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