well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Mom said you looked used
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
