how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
