Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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