If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize