I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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