today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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