I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
