paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
