So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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