I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
