the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
