I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
