I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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