My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
