it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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