brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
