my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
