Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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