I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she pinky promised me she was 18
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
