it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm getting married
To pizza
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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