is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
