I'm going to jail i love you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
