It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
