Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
