I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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