he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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