From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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