i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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