Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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