Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize