also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
