i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
